Life is Grand

I recently fulfilled a dream of mine and visited the Grand Canyon. What an amazing and beautiful place! I flew in by helicopter and had a wonderful brunch on the canyon floor.

Being in such a hot, remote place put life in perspective for me. Everything was extreme: The temperature, the scale, the location. It made me feel small – in a good way. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that life doesn’t revolve around us; that’s there’s a big world out there and each of us is a small part of it. My realization took a lot of pressure off and helped me enjoy life even more.

What’s Serving You?

There are times when I clean out the clutter in my house. I go through the closets and cupboards and donate, recylce, or throw away the things I don’t need or use.

Sometimes, I realize that this “spring cleaning” needs to extends beyond the physical clutter and into the rest of my life. I ask myself:

• Does this activity benefit me?
• Do the people I associate with help motivate me?
• Do my hobbies help or hinder me?
• Are the tasks I do on a daily basis contributing to my goals?

Ask yourself: Are there people, activites, or tasks in your life that don’t serve you? Are you holding yourself back by not taking inventory and doing a bit of spring cleaning? Life is short – make every moment count!

 

Portland Cottage

I took this photo in Portland a few years ago. I used a USB memory stick that had a photo capturing feature. No focusing, no settings, just a view finder and button. I like the spontaneous nature of the device, as well as the air of mystery – how will the shot turn out? The “camera” tends to give a soft focus to images and makes the cottage that much more romantic and dreamy.

I was walking down a street in the outskirts of the city and snapped the shot. It reminded me of an English coutryside home. And it provides a certain calmness that a home should offer.

Graduation

Wow! It’s been six months since graduation. I haven’t worked that hard on anything since I completed my university degree. I’ve been coaching since 2006, and moved ahead with formal training so I could gain accreditation. As part of my graduation requirements, I kept this blog, wrote a research paper on an aspect of coaching (I chose creativity), and coached five clients for 12 sessions each.

I learned so much in my ICA studies and I’ve been busy coaching and networking and growing my business ever since. I joined ICF and I’m part of the local coaching chapter. I started out keeping this blog as a graduation requirement but I would like to resurrect it and keep using it as a type of coaching journal.

Underlying Automatic Commitments

Underlying Automatic Commitments (UACs) are a set of beliefs of judgments that we hold about ourselves, our world, or the people in our lives. They are subconscious commitments, not something we deliberately choose to commit to, like a marriage, job, or weight loss goal.

 People who constantly have the same outcomes in life – they can’t keep a job, their relationships are always dysfunctional, they have money problems – might be dealing with UACs. To overcome the UAC and move forward in life, people should ask themselves, “how is this serving me?” When people can identify the UAC and find out what it proves, they can gain the power to do something about it.

 If I have a desire to lose weight but I don’t do to the gym, I am not committed to my weight-loss goal; I’m committed to lying on the sofa! By finding out why I’m committed to lying around (maybe I feel like I don’t deserve to look good), I can address the reasons behind the UAC and make a conscious choice to commit to a healthier alternative.

Advanced Coaching

Part of delving deeper into coaching is using advanced techniques to help clients reach their full potential. Setting goals is important, although not everyone who hires a coach needs help with goals. Creating the life you want is important too, and can be done through goals, although it doesn’t have to. For example, people can surround themselves with a network of people who encourage them.

People need to look at their values and see how their lives align to them. Some great things to have in life are good health, solid finances, respect, a beautiful dwelling, healthy boundaries, the ability to say no, to ask for what you want, and to tell the truth. Sometimes simple pleasures are better than grand goals that will make the neighbors envious but don’t nourish you.

 Picture the life you want, let your enthusiasm for that life grow, and go for it!

Ethics

I have an obligation to myself and to the coaching community to be an ethical coach. As a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), I adhere to their standards. Part of my ethical stance is to be honest with clients, to keep their information confidential, and to put their needs above my interest in financial success.

I want to know what my clients want to achieve. I will then encourage self-discovery and client-generated solutions to their goals. By putting my best foot forward, I can lead by example and be a good model for my clients. By asking powerful questions, I can help my clients think about ethical dilemmas so they can make smart choices.

Doing the right thing benefits me and my clients will benefit too when they make ethical decisions.

The Challenging Client

Working with challenging clients can be, well, a challenge! Sometimes people are challenging because they simply aren’t coachable at this moment, or perhaps I’m not the right coach for them. I have to honestly assess these situations and talk to my clients about such ideas.

Even a highly coachable client can be challenging at times. I set expectations up front to avoid problems and miscommunications later. My welcome packet contains information about the length of each session, the acceptable level of in-between session communication, the payment structure, and how coaching works, in general.

I’ve learned not to be afraid to make mistakes or admit that I don’t know everything. Even coaches are human! I am open and honest with my clients and respect their perspectives. These things set the groundwork for a good coaching relationship.

And when a relationship is at its natural end, or the client can’t benefit from the sessions, I admit it’s time to end the sessions. Coaching is a short process for an immediate goal. Once goals are met, clients move on.

Peer Coaching

In order to be an effective coach, it’s wise to have a coach. I started working as a client with a peer coach before I started coaching. I plan to continue working with coaches so I can reach my goals. I have also started working with other people – ICA peers and outside clients – to build my coaching practice.

One of the favorite parts about meeting new clients is experiencing the diversity in people. However, despite our differences, I always find common ground. I appreciate how unique people are, and how alike we are too.

Cross Cultural Coaching

When working with clients of different cultures it’s especially important to be sensitive of their perspectives. Cultural differences may arise, and as a coach, I need to be sensitive to these differences. Some areas that I anticipate differences are language, aging, humor, accessibility, levels of openness, gender issues and roles, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, ways of handling time, exchanging money, levels of formality.

As a coach, it’s my responsibility to approach coaching sessions in an unbiased manner. In cross cultural coaching, this is equally true. I must make a concerted effort not to let stereotypes affect my viewpoint. People from every walk of life, and from every culture, can benefit from an open and understanding coach, who listens, asks powerful questions, empathizes, and helps clients focus on action.