Underlying Automatic Commitments

Underlying Automatic Commitments (UACs) are a set of beliefs of judgments that we hold about ourselves, our world, or the people in our lives. They are subconscious commitments, not something we deliberately choose to commit to, like a marriage, job, or weight loss goal.

 People who constantly have the same outcomes in life – they can’t keep a job, their relationships are always dysfunctional, they have money problems – might be dealing with UACs. To overcome the UAC and move forward in life, people should ask themselves, “how is this serving me?” When people can identify the UAC and find out what it proves, they can gain the power to do something about it.

 If I have a desire to lose weight but I don’t do to the gym, I am not committed to my weight-loss goal; I’m committed to lying on the sofa! By finding out why I’m committed to lying around (maybe I feel like I don’t deserve to look good), I can address the reasons behind the UAC and make a conscious choice to commit to a healthier alternative.

Advanced Coaching

Part of delving deeper into coaching is using advanced techniques to help clients reach their full potential. Setting goals is important, although not everyone who hires a coach needs help with goals. Creating the life you want is important too, and can be done through goals, although it doesn’t have to. For example, people can surround themselves with a network of people who encourage them.

People need to look at their values and see how their lives align to them. Some great things to have in life are good health, solid finances, respect, a beautiful dwelling, healthy boundaries, the ability to say no, to ask for what you want, and to tell the truth. Sometimes simple pleasures are better than grand goals that will make the neighbors envious but don’t nourish you.

 Picture the life you want, let your enthusiasm for that life grow, and go for it!

Ethics

I have an obligation to myself and to the coaching community to be an ethical coach. As a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), I adhere to their standards. Part of my ethical stance is to be honest with clients, to keep their information confidential, and to put their needs above my interest in financial success.

I want to know what my clients want to achieve. I will then encourage self-discovery and client-generated solutions to their goals. By putting my best foot forward, I can lead by example and be a good model for my clients. By asking powerful questions, I can help my clients think about ethical dilemmas so they can make smart choices.

Doing the right thing benefits me and my clients will benefit too when they make ethical decisions.

The Challenging Client

Working with challenging clients can be, well, a challenge! Sometimes people are challenging because they simply aren’t coachable at this moment, or perhaps I’m not the right coach for them. I have to honestly assess these situations and talk to my clients about such ideas.

Even a highly coachable client can be challenging at times. I set expectations up front to avoid problems and miscommunications later. My welcome packet contains information about the length of each session, the acceptable level of in-between session communication, the payment structure, and how coaching works, in general.

I’ve learned not to be afraid to make mistakes or admit that I don’t know everything. Even coaches are human! I am open and honest with my clients and respect their perspectives. These things set the groundwork for a good coaching relationship.

And when a relationship is at its natural end, or the client can’t benefit from the sessions, I admit it’s time to end the sessions. Coaching is a short process for an immediate goal. Once goals are met, clients move on.

Peer Coaching

In order to be an effective coach, it’s wise to have a coach. I started working as a client with a peer coach before I started coaching. I plan to continue working with coaches so I can reach my goals. I have also started working with other people – ICA peers and outside clients – to build my coaching practice.

One of the favorite parts about meeting new clients is experiencing the diversity in people. However, despite our differences, I always find common ground. I appreciate how unique people are, and how alike we are too.

Cross Cultural Coaching

When working with clients of different cultures it’s especially important to be sensitive of their perspectives. Cultural differences may arise, and as a coach, I need to be sensitive to these differences. Some areas that I anticipate differences are language, aging, humor, accessibility, levels of openness, gender issues and roles, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, ways of handling time, exchanging money, levels of formality.

As a coach, it’s my responsibility to approach coaching sessions in an unbiased manner. In cross cultural coaching, this is equally true. I must make a concerted effort not to let stereotypes affect my viewpoint. People from every walk of life, and from every culture, can benefit from an open and understanding coach, who listens, asks powerful questions, empathizes, and helps clients focus on action.

Empowering the Coaching Relationship

People who hire a coach are usually highly coachable. They sought me out, they set the pace and standards for the sessions, and they are motivated to change and meet their goals. However, sometimes, people are not truly coachable. They might not complete their fieldwork, they might skip sessions, and they might be late with payments. If these issues arise, it’s a good opportunity to ask clients about what’s holding them back and if these issues are affecting other areas of their lives.

If clients are not blocked by a lack of commitment to coaching, and they are following expectations set by both of us early in the coaching relationship, then coaching is a positive and beneficial experience.

I expect my clients to tell the truth, pay on time, be on time, and give advanced notice for any sessions that need to be rescheduled. My clients have different expectations of me, some of which are being honest, being nonjudgmental, listening carefully, acknowledging their successes, holding them accountable, and providing feedback.

I am a facilitator and peer of my clients. I expect clients to be responsible for the outcome of their coaching sessions. If they drive the sessions and set the bar, they are likely to meet their goals. I’m not here to give advice, punish, or demand.

I encourage my clients to participate in fieldwork and keep their lives moving forward in between sessions. I’m also open to feedback – if I can learn from my clients, I can improve the quality of my sessions.  

Using My Coaching Model

In the Advanced I section, I outlined my coaching model – a visual representation of how I coach. My model explains what I do during a coaching session. Of course each client is unique, and sessions are tailored accordingly. However, there is an outline that I like to follow to make sure clients are getting the most out of each session. The model I outlined earlier is:

Client: Issue/Goal -> obstacles -> priorities -> follow-through -> results!
Coach: listen, question, feedback, encourage

Specifically, I like to start each session by asking my clients about achievements, wins, and celebrations they’ve experienced since our last meeting. This sets the session up on a positive note and enables me to acknowledge my clients for their achievements.

Next, I ask clients what they’d like to cover in this session. My clients lead the discussion, while I listen and ask appropriate questions to help them discover the best course of action for them, at that time. This implies that there is no right or wrong; there is only the most appropriate action for them at this moment.

After working through issues and obstacles, I ask my clients about their action plan for the week. This helps them continue their momentum and reach their goals. In the next session, I’ll check in with them to see how well they completed their plan.

Structures

People run their lives through structures. Some structures are beneficial (keeping a tidy home, going to the gym regularly), and other structures keep us from reaching our goals. These, negative structures are self-sabotaging. Perhaps we are not committed to success, but failure. It sounds odd, but it happens. Look around at everything in your life. Do the things surrounding you support a healthy structure or are they keeping you committed to the wrong things. If you say you are committed to getting fit, but your cupboards are full of cookies, your structure won’t support your desire to get fit.

It’s easy to justify the structures that don’t support us, but if people can remove those unhealthy structures and replace them with healthy ones, they can begin to meet their goals. A good support structure – things and people that are positive influences – is necessary for us to succeed.

The Trial Session

As a coach, I offer potential clients a complimentary trial session. A free coaching session takes the risk out of coaching and gives people a chance to see if I’m a good fit for them. It’s exciting for me to meet people who have never had a coach and who are looking forward to talking with me and planning for big life changes. 

The objectives of the introductory session are: introducing clients to coaching; connecting with clients to see if we are a good fit; clarifying the coaching process; and setting up expectations.

Before a coaching session, I’ll send clients reading material so they can prepare for their sessions. If, after a complimentary session, a client likes the concept of coaching, I can schedule a series of sessions. I want people to know that because every person is unique, every life coaching session is different. I tailor sessions to meet the needs of my clients. I will never criticize or judge; I respect the opinions of my clients. I am your ally; committed and willing to help you achieve your full potential.