Ethics

I have an obligation to myself and to the coaching community to be an ethical coach. As a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), I adhere to their standards. Part of my ethical stance is to be honest with clients, to keep their information confidential, and to put their needs above my interest in financial success.

I want to know what my clients want to achieve. I will then encourage self-discovery and client-generated solutions to their goals. By putting my best foot forward, I can lead by example and be a good model for my clients. By asking powerful questions, I can help my clients think about ethical dilemmas so they can make smart choices.

Doing the right thing benefits me and my clients will benefit too when they make ethical decisions.

The Challenging Client

Working with challenging clients can be, well, a challenge! Sometimes people are challenging because they simply aren’t coachable at this moment, or perhaps I’m not the right coach for them. I have to honestly assess these situations and talk to my clients about such ideas.

Even a highly coachable client can be challenging at times. I set expectations up front to avoid problems and miscommunications later. My welcome packet contains information about the length of each session, the acceptable level of in-between session communication, the payment structure, and how coaching works, in general.

I’ve learned not to be afraid to make mistakes or admit that I don’t know everything. Even coaches are human! I am open and honest with my clients and respect their perspectives. These things set the groundwork for a good coaching relationship.

And when a relationship is at its natural end, or the client can’t benefit from the sessions, I admit it’s time to end the sessions. Coaching is a short process for an immediate goal. Once goals are met, clients move on.

Peer Coaching

In order to be an effective coach, it’s wise to have a coach. I started working as a client with a peer coach before I started coaching. I plan to continue working with coaches so I can reach my goals. I have also started working with other people – ICA peers and outside clients – to build my coaching practice.

One of the favorite parts about meeting new clients is experiencing the diversity in people. However, despite our differences, I always find common ground. I appreciate how unique people are, and how alike we are too.

Powerful Requests

Powerful requests are a call to action. In order to achieve great things, people sometimes need a gentle push from inaction to action. Coaches can “push” clients by providing powerful requests. Requests are like contracts. Client can choose not to accept them, but if they do accept them, they will have another form of accountability in their lives.

A request can help people reach their full potential, take risks, and grow. A bold, powerful request combined with fieldwork –assigned tasks – can help clients move forward and reach their goals. It can be as simple as “I request that you go to the gym three times this week.” A fun, challenge is a good way to jump-start clients who are not moving forward in life. Working on specific requests between sessions helps clients stay focused.

Being supportive and offering challenges are two ways that a coach can motivate clients. A powerful request is a challenge; being available to support clients and help them meet the request is equally important.

Accountability

Holding ourselves accountable for our actions is a way to be responsible to ourselves. Holding other accountable for their actions towards us is a way to gain respect and be treated fairly. Self-accountability must come first. If you “do as you say and do” then others will have an easier time following your actions.

For example, if you vow to tell the truth, be on time, and speak constructively, do it! Your example will be far-reaching. If others need to learn your limits, they will have an easier time doing so if they see that you respect yourself and honor your own requests.

Setting up boundaries is helpful, if you want others to respect you and be held accountable. If you don’t want a friend to keep you waiting, speak up. Request that he or she respects your time. Consistency is important, though. Don’t sometimes allow the behavior and other times complain about it. Tell your friend what the consequences will be and follow through.

How do you feel when you don’t hold yourself accountable? How do you feel when you don’t hold others accountable? How does it feel when others respect your boundaries? Keep those feelings in mind next time you set up accountability.

The Coaching Model

Part of my coaching process is to use a coaching model – a visual representation of how I coach. There are as many models as there are coaches. I alter my model to suit specific client needs. The benefit of having a model is that I am conscious of the process and can monitor the client’s success. Generally, here is the model I use:

Client: Issue/Goal -> obstacles -> priorities -> follow-through -> results!

Coach: listen, question, feedback, encourage

There are commonalities to many models that make them successful. The main thing that makes a model effective is when it supports the client. A coach is a valuable partner on the client’s journey, but ultimately, it is the client’s responsibility to move forward.

Setting Goals

Setting goals is a big part of finding success. I can drive all day and travel places, but I won’t reach a destination unless I first decide where I want to go! Once I set my goal, I need to get a map so I know how to get where I’m going.

Reaching a goal is easier if it’s SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-based. If you can pinpoint exactly how to reach a realistic goal and you know when you want to reach it, you can meet your goal!

Sometimes though, we have goals that don’t align with our values. Perhaps we are following someone else’s idea of success and are doing what they value. In such a situation, it’s hard to meet a goal. Follow your own dreams, live your own values, and goals will be much more achievable. If you can find people to support and encourage you, you will have an easier time meeting your goals.

Reaching a goal is a process. Set milestones and break a big goal into bite-sized chunks. Reward yourself for small accomplishments along the way if a big goal seems out of reach.

One effective way that I reach goals is through a prosperity board. I gathered images that represent my goals and created a collage. I posted the collage in a prominent location so I could see it every day and not forget about my goals. I got to see my progress regularly and one by one, my goals were met.

The Coaching Process

Coaching is a process. Like any relationship, it has stages. Creating a coaching model has helped me explain how I coach and what clients can expect to put into – and get out of – coaching.

Once I am in a coaching session, I can use the tools and techniques of the coaching process to identify where in that process the client is. Depending on where my clients are, I can use specific tools to help them though.

At the beginning on the process, clients have a gap between where they are and where they want to be. Initially, as the process proceeds, clients feel empowered and motivated. Sometimes, however, clients are challenged and have internal struggles that might make them want to quit. Getting past the quitting zone is essential in helping clients reach their goals.

Ultimately, clients reach their goal and the coaching relationship comes to an end, either indefinitely or until the next goal is discovered.

Creating Confidence

Confidence is sexy, sure. But confidence is a valuable quality in all aspects of our lives. There is a difference between conceit and confidence. A confident person has the ability to move forward in life, knowing he or she has skills to overcome obstacles and meet goals. A conceited person talks about how great he or she is, but doesn’t do anything great.

It’s easy to compare ourselves unfavorably to others and come up short. This is not a confidence-building tactic. It’s better to look at yourself as an individual, unique in every way, and list your strengths. Writing a biography is a confidence-building exercise. I had no idea how established I was in a creative and professional sense until I listed my experiences on paper. Soliciting testimonial from clients also helped build my confidence and made me realize that I had a lot to offer.

When self-doubt arises, think about perspective and undertake a shift in how you think about yourself. There’s only one you. Enjoy yourself, and value who you are and you will gain the confidence to move through life successfully.

Creating Action

Just do it!

Creating action moves us forward in life. We can think about things all we want but until we start doing something, we can’t succeed.

Creating a goal is a great start but we need more than the idea of a goal to achieve success. Having people who support you is very important. Striving toward something you value is equally important. Think about times when you had people who believed in you. Did you meet your goals?

I like to reward myself at set milestones, not only at the completion of a goal. Sometimes a big or challenging goal must be broken into steps, each of which is achievable.